My God is...

Recently, I attended a meeting in which Colleen Terry Spoke. She suggested I define MY God - and I've thought a lot about that. That which we worship every day of of the week defines our God. It may be an addiction, the big house, the TV, another person, or oneself... or it may be a merciful loving Father in Heaven, whom you strive to put above all else. Where our treasure is, there shall our heart be also. So who is my God?

My God knows me. He knows of my pain and suffering, and He shares my tears of sorrow. He gives me peace, and the assurance that everything's gonna be alright. He knows my potential, and allows the experiences necessary to groom me to reach it. He has confidence in me, and enough belief in me to "let go" for a short period of time, so I can prove myself on Earth. He is anxious to empower me, and does so every time I allow Him. He rejoices in my rejoicing, and smiles over my victories. My God knows my past, sees my future, and holds my presence in His hands, paving the way for what lies ahead. His timing is absolute, His plan pure and exact. He allows trials so I can grow, yet He is protective of me, and has promised justice. He has my back. My God is pleased with my righteous choices, and rewards them abundantly. He is patient as I stumble, fall and, sometimes even willingly, walk away. He wants me to succeed, and is munificent in giving every tool necessary to do so. He knows my heart, sees my works, and doubles my righteous efforts. My God is a God of encouragement. He is magnanimous and His arm of mercy extended, forgiving each time I come unto Him. His very purpose is to bring to pass my eternal life. He smiles in satisfaction when my I make my very purpose to bring about His glory. He lives for His children, and has an incommunicable, inimitable love for me. He cares. Greatly.

Food for thought

"Anybody could observe the sabbath, but making it Holy takes the rest of the week" -Alice Walker

Loving unconditionally

Lately I've had a lot of thoughts on unconditional love. You know... loving without conditions. :)

Why is it that this can, at times, feel like a risk? Logically we know it's what we should do, yet we feel vulnerable in doing so. Perhaps it's because we're attempting to love unconditionally, but we're actually loving with the hope that it will produce change, holding secret expectations that our love will somehow alter our "target." If we're loving with the hope of changing someone then we ARE taking a risk - we ARE vulnerable, because the odds of that person changing our against us. Our investment will likely go sour.

Loving unconditionally, however, isn't putting your investment in another - it's investing in yourself. YOU reap the benefits of peace, YOUR heart is softened, and YOU get to see your enemy (or child, or friend, or co-worker, etc.) through God's eyes, squelching any festering anger or resentment.

I'm starting to realize that we we're not commanded to have charity (the pure love of Christ) for the sake of others, but for the sake of ourselves. Like forgiveness, loving unconditionally is a gift we give ourselves. Isn't that the case with every commandment? They are all for our benefit and happiness.

Putting down our pride and trying to love past the inflicted pain or broken trust is never easy. I know I feel myself hesitating, as I think, "But he doesn't deserve my love." And you know what... he doesn't! But I deserve to give it. I deserve to heal. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to experience peace, amongst the turmoil.

Matthew 5:44. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

... not for THEIR sake - but for yours. (I hope I can do a better job of living this)!

I'm back

It's been awhile since I've blogged here. I haven't gone without recording my insights, I just haven't been recording them on here. I'll admit, I stopped because I was worried what others might think - fearing some might view me as hypocritical or self-righteous. And you know what... SOME WILL!

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” -Dr.Seuss

So I'm back. By blogging, I know my words might be read by another, hence I'm required to dig a little deeper to insure my thoughts are portrayed accurately, and possibly even beautifully. It's good for me. It's also therapeutic.

My conclusion: Don't restrain your gifts because you're worried what others might think. If there's greatness within you, (and there IS), then let it shine! This may come at the risk of upsetting friends, family and co-workers... but you've been given gifts for a reason. Have the courage to share them, and when you sense hesitation ask yourself: DOES A FLOWER REFUSE TO BLOOM!?

Follow the course of nature, God's plan, and allow yourself to bloom.

My confession

My postings are a product of what I'm experiencing in the moment, conceived and birthed through my weaknesses. They're certainly not a product of my goodness. If I write about "remembering who I am" ...there's a good chance I forgot. If I write about "trusting in the Lord," it's probably because I didn't. Perhaps this makes me a hypocrite, yet in recording my thoughts I'm forced to deeper ponder the topic, and I always find myself recommiting to do better. Hypocrite or not, I find strength in doing so.

So here I am. Writing another post intended to strengthen me.

I trust the Lord has a plan for me, yet lately I've been dabbling in my own plan while crossing my fingers that, in the end, I can still qualify for His rewards. I am well aware that mercy cannot rob justice, yet I find myself saying, "Well, I'm human, I can't be perfect all the time... Surely He understands."

As I've pondered this ugly justification I've come to the conclusion that being human is not an excuse to give in to temptation, rather it is the very reason to rise above it. For every temptation I conquer creates an improvement in my character and, therefore, an improvement in my life.

Anything worth having is worth working for. I feel a noble character is worth having, don't you?

Charity edifieth

As I've began my "healing process" after my divorce, I set some goals in December, one of which was to serve someone every day. I did good for awhile, but the last couple of weeks I've been complacent and held myself less accountable.

I just flipped open to 1 Corinthians 8:1 "... charity edifieth." The footnote on edifieth read: "Builds up, strengthens, establishes, repairs."

Interesting. I've never thought of the word "edify" that way, and I never thought of "charity" to repair. Perhaps it's time to start focusing on serving again, as I could certainly use a little "repair" in my life.

Inspiration...

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning
the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!"

Remember!

You know when a mom tells her child not to do something, and the kid does it anyway - looking right at her knowing full well he's disobeying. Is there NOT a mom out there who finds this frustrating beyond all measure?

Yet, how often do we do this to the Lord? The patience He must have! I'm not just talking about an innocent mistake, later realized. I'm referring to the very instant sin is being committed, big or small, telling yourself, "I know better, I really shouldn't..." then choosing sin over righteousness.


Why? Obviously, there is a lack of self-control, but it goes deeper than that. Self-control is born from a desire to become our best, which desire is the fruit of understanding our divine heritage. When we know who we are and our relationship to our Father in heaven, choosing righteousness is a pleasure. Obedience becomes a quest, rather than an irritation.

Satan would have us forget our divine nature, as is so well illustrated in the story of Moses. This was, and is, his first plan of attack.

Never forget who you are.

Sabbath: A Day of Rest

The Sabbath is a day of rest and worship, which we should set aside to honor and keep holy. Blah blah blah.... Let's be honest, the word "honor" is not always the word that comes to mind. Irritation, hindrance and detention might sound a bit more familiar. (Hahaha. Detention. I like that.) Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of Sabbath days where I'm overcome with gratitude and wish the day would never end, but I'll admit - I've also had days where I simply feel restricted and slightly annoyed.

Recently, as I was pondering the Creation, the significance of the Sabbath took on new meaning. In referring to the creation, Joseph Fielding Smith said, "Adam helped to form the earth. He labored with our Saviour Jesus Christ." (Doctrines of Salvation, 1:75.) Naturally God would have presided over it, instructing them what to do on a daily basis. For "six days" they worked tirelessly, pressing forward in obedience and quite possibly unaware of what would be asked of them the next day. How delightful it must have been to witness all of the "pieces of the puzzle" fitting together. The Lord had a plan, and the result was glorious and beautiful. Only after they (even Christ) received line upon line and endured to the end did they obtain a day of rest.

Likewise, only after we have completed our work, pressing forward one day at a time in faith and obedience, may we obtain our day of rest. As I attend church each Sabbath day I can reflect on the last six days and evaluate where I'm at in my journey, then make the necessary adjustments to improve on the coming week. I long for the day that I can "cease from my works" and enter into the rest of the Lord.

The Sabbath is not a day of restriction, it is a day of reward.

Love thy Neighbor as Thyself

Love thy neighbor as thyself. I've always construed this to mirror the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." It wasn't until a couple of days ago that this hit me in a completely new, glaringly obvious, light. The commandment reads, "Love thy neighbor as thyself"... and the remarkable truth is that we do just that. We are only able love others as much as we love ourselves.

This would explain why the first commandment is to "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart," and the second is to "love thy neighbor as thyself." It is not feasible to give sincere love to others unless we first understand God's love for us - a testament gained through loving Him with all our heart, might and mind and strength. As we begin to know of our divine heritage and believe in our own worth, only then will we recognize the great worth of others.

Elder Lynn A. Mickelsen said, "Charity and love for one’s neighbor are best developed when one has a healthy sense of self-respect. Self-respect comes from obedience to the laws of God. Those with a strong sense of self-respect have a greater capacity to forget themselves and love others. Conversely, those who are insecure about their self-worth often become more self-centered and less capable of building strong, loving friendships."

Let us love ourselves a little more and never forget who we are. Royal children of God. There is no room for self-loathing or disparagement.... for an empty vessel has nothing to give.

His Genuine Treasure

The Lord's plan is far greater than any we could ever create on our own, or even imagine. Despite the tribulations we may face throughout life, there is undying hope in this fact. As I reflect on this last year I'm baffled over the events of 2009. It was nothing like I imagined! To have a child and then end up divorced... I never fathomed that could happen to me. I had great plans for 2010 - plans which are now drastically altered. I was sharing this with a friend when he said something along the lines of, "We always say Heavenly Father's plan is greater than anything we could imagine, so perhaps we have to go through things we have never imagined so he can give us what we could never imagine."

In the end, the only possession we have that is truly ours to give the Lord is our will. To give up that which we think we know, that which we think we must have, that which at times we feel we could never live without... all the while trusting that the Lord has has something better in store.

I've thought a lot about this story lately and it's one of my favorites, always bringing me to tears. Such a beautiful message. As this new year begins perhaps we can each step back long enough to determine what cheap dime-store jewelry we're holding on to, then find the courage to give it up, trusting that the Lord has genuine treasure awaiting us.

The Pearl Necklace

A cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face. "A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess-- the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek. "What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And, when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of beautiful genuine pearls. He had had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.